1. Nature is loud. Like really proper loud. I thought nature was all ‘silent night’, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Mais non, nature is noisy. From crickets cricketing to sheep bleating, to the wind rustling trees, it’s loud.
2. Nature thinks it has a much right to be here as I do. There’s a cocky, daredevil fly that thinks it has as much right to my tea and breakfast as I do. Doesn’t it know this breakfast is MINE? Apparently not. The ants don’t realise they are putting me off my morning wee, they think they’re just ant-ing about. The mosquito doesn’t think that I might not like big red marks on my face, arms and bum, it thinks it’s perfectly entitled to have a munch. Nature’s getting a bit too entitled if you ask me.
3. Water comes from somewhere and is a luxury. I know right, I thought water’s natural habitat was in a pipe, waiting to be called in by the turning of a tap. But apparently it comes from somewhere. Ours has to be delivered by a Jesus-god-man hybrid called Thanasis, but it comes from somewhere. And it’s finite. And flushing the toilet after every wee is excessive.
4. Electricity comes from somewhere too. Who’d have thought? We’re copying plants and getting our power from the sun, but no sun equals no charging my phone.
5. Nature needs attention too. We have some olive trees that are all sad and sick. I think they need a hug.
6. Nature knows what’s it doing. It knows how to rain, how to shine, how to grow, what is needed and where to make certain things happen. Sometimes, I get the impression that nature isn’t getting in my way, I’m getting in it’s way.
7. Nature is very old. We might get all excited about a house that’s 200 years old, but nature, or the earth at least, has been here for millions if not billions of years. That bit of ground you just walked on; that’s an antique billion year old bit of ground to you.